Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
Dalehelms
Posts: 323
Joined: Sat 10 Mar, 2007 5:00 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby Dalehelms » Sat 06 Apr, 2019 9:31 am

Thank you, mhoulden.
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tilly
Posts: 1936
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Sat 06 Apr, 2019 2:39 pm

Thanks from me, i know im getting old but i thought my mind had gone when i tried to read that post.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
Posts: 1237
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 08 Apr, 2019 2:22 pm

The Teacher of a Junior Class asks them to draw a picture of a Biblical scene "The Flight to Egypt" and as she looks at the results Some Good, bad and Indifferent" one shows a small Aircraft with people aboard. When she asks Johnny who and what is the Aeroplane meant to be He replies "Jesus, Mary and Joseph " and when he asks who the fourth one is Johnny answers " Oh that's Pilot Miss"........
warringtonrhino
Posts: 359
Joined: Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Mon 08 Apr, 2019 5:02 pm

:lol: Art teacher - Ken your drawing of Michael Jackson looks nothing like him.
Ken - neither does he :lol:

dogduke
Posts: 1321
Joined: Thu 03 Jan, 2008 6:47 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby dogduke » Wed 17 Apr, 2019 11:55 am

Seen on the internet today,


Did you turn the chip pan off Esmeralda?

No,I thought you had Quasimodo!
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
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tilly
Posts: 1936
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Wed 17 Apr, 2019 9:08 pm

I went to the dentists to day he said your teeth are alright but your gums have to come out.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
Posts: 1237
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Thu 25 Apr, 2019 9:14 pm

It was school holidays and the lad ask could we o to the seaside dad ? So dad takes him to Roundhay Park and hires a boat. as they are going along the boy says "Dad why is the Sky so blue" dad answers Don't know son. A bit later the lad asks "Dad how do fish swim under water and don't drown" His father replies I have no idea son. The lad is curious and asks "How is it this boat does not sink" dad replies Dunno son. Just as they are getting out of the boat the lad says "Dad you don't mind me asking all these questions do you dad, do you" His father Not at all son, if you don't ask you will never learn nothing.
volvojack
Posts: 1237
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Fri 26 Apr, 2019 4:50 pm

EATING IN THE FIFTIES and SIXTIES :

Pasta was not eaten in Australia or N.Z.
Curry was a surname.
A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
All potato crisps were plain; the only choice we had was
whether to put the salt on or not.
Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.
Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded
as being white gold. Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
Fish didn't have fingers in those days.
Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.
None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only found in India.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not a recognised food.
"Kebab" was not even a word, never mind a food.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughing stock!!
But the one thing that we never ever had on our table in the sixties .....
" Elbows or Phones.

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tilly
Posts: 1936
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Fri 26 Apr, 2019 8:13 pm

Cod never had balls but moths did, We never had chicken leg ends but Mc Donalds do.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
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blackprince
Posts: 707
Joined: Tue 04 Sep, 2007 2:10 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby blackprince » Fri 26 Apr, 2019 8:51 pm

…..and Humous was only found on a compost heap!
It used to be said that the statue of the Black Prince had been placed in City Square , near the station, pointing South to tell all the southerners who've just got off the train to b****r off back down south!





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