Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
volvojack
Posts: 1121
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Wed 21 Nov, 2018 9:00 pm

Paddy was waiting for his family to collect him from Manchester Airport, it was his first time in England and they told him to get a cup of tea/ coffee from one of those machines. He chose a coffee with milk and sugar, then inserted the 50p. piece The Hot water came out missing the plastic cup and spilling the milk and sugar down the drain. Paddy was shocked and said to himself "This is amazing , this machine not only sells you the coffee you order, but drinks it for you as well,
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A 2 Seater Cessna Aeroplane crashes in a Graveyard just outside the village of Ballymuck,so far Irish rescue teams have recovered 190 bodies /remains
Stella365
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun 25 Nov, 2018 3:12 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby Stella365 » Sun 25 Nov, 2018 3:14 pm

Haha! Nice one, volvojack.
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tilly
Posts: 1869
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Mon 26 Nov, 2018 10:36 pm

I once had a girlfriend with hair all down her back ,None on her head just down her back.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
Posts: 1121
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Wed 28 Nov, 2018 3:24 pm

I can't post anything on my joke page today Help......

Have submitted a long joke twice and it has said "Invalid"

warringtonrhino
Posts: 330
Joined: Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Wed 28 Nov, 2018 4:59 pm

I have found lots of old cartoon I did several years ago, not sure if the joke of the week is the right place?
This was done sitting in a very very boring Health & Safety meeting.
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tilly
Posts: 1869
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Wed 28 Nov, 2018 7:16 pm

Fits in nicely warringtonrhino.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
Posts: 1121
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Thu 29 Nov, 2018 8:56 am

Lest we forget
An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready." The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "That is impossible The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!" The elderly gentleman gave the said the Immigration Officer a long hard look. Then he quietly explained; "Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
warringtonrhino
Posts: 330
Joined: Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Thu 29 Nov, 2018 7:12 pm

In my late teens I worked in an office which was very old fashioned, and the boss was shrewd with his money. This might be an exaggeration ;)
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volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Fri 30 Nov, 2018 9:41 am

A Farmer goes into the field one morning and finds all his cows stood frozen the solid. .He is devastated as he remembers 2010 when his cattle were like this and he nearly went bankrupt.He was thinking how will i pay my mortgage,farm bills etc when an old lady came walking by. Seeing the state he was in she asked him what was the problem. The farmer pointed to all the animals and without hesitation the old lady went into the meadow and rubbed the noses of each one, they immediately began grazing. The farmer is astonished and as he his stood there amazed another farmer walks by.The Farmer who's animals are all now happily eating grass says' "Did you see that, who was that old lady ?" " His neighbor says " That was Thora Herd"
TABBYCAT
Posts: 194
Joined: Mon 02 Apr, 2007 6:55 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby TABBYCAT » Fri 30 Nov, 2018 7:49 pm

warringtonrhino wrote:In my late teens I worked in an office which was very old fashioned, and the boss was shrewd with his money. This might be an exaggeration ;)


These have a touch of Gary Larson's "The far side" about them and in my opinion are superior so please please WR keep them coming.


Regards.

Tabby.
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