Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
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tilly
PostsCOLON 1793
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Mon 07 May, 2018 9:56 pm

A woman sues a surgeon the judge asks what is your complaint she says since his operation my husband has not shown any interest in me.We used to make love every night now he will not even kiss me,The judge say to the surgeon what have you got to say the surgeon says we only did a cataract operation.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
PostsCOLON 1001
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Thu 10 May, 2018 1:46 pm

Had a reply from "Screw Fix Direct" Thanking me for my Interest shown but they are not a Dating Agency.
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The Wife was in one of her Funny Moods. I walked into the Kitchen and said "Is That Coffee I smell" She replied Yes and You Do. ...... Got my own back when she rang from the Supermarket and asked if there was anything we needed urgently?? I asked "Was she walking or in the Car" she replied Walking..... I told her we needed a 56Lb Bag of Potatoes and a Large Bag of Cat Litter.
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Whilst we all hate Manchester United and even more so the "Scum" that are their Fans. Most of us would wish to see their ex. Manager Sir Alex Ferguson make a good recovery from his recent stroke.
His Family have requested that he be afforded some Privacy for a while.
One of his Visitors that was allowed in to see him for an hour was Wayne Rooney and it seemed that he just managed to put some words together and make a sensible sentence. Sir Alex was quoted as saying "Just don't try and do too much at once Wayne Laddie"
iansmithofotley
PostsCOLON 377
JoinedCOLON Fri 28 Dec, 2007 4:10 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby iansmithofotley » Fri 11 May, 2018 9:24 pm

volvojack
PostsCOLON 1001
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sat 12 May, 2018 9:45 am

Good Morning Ian.
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Never knew about this even though it is based a few miles away in Cheltenham.

volvojack
PostsCOLON 1001
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sun 13 May, 2018 9:41 am

Two young Irish Nuns are sent to the U.S.A. and after arriving in New York one says to the other" Did you know that they eat Dogs over here ,and it is considered quite normal." The other Nun sas Well i guess we shall have to do the same. As they walk down the New York Street they hear a Vendor calling out " Hot Dogs, Get your lovely fresh Hot Dogs Here" Both being hungry the decide to try one each. The Hot Dog Seller wraps them one each in Foil and they go and sit in the Park .The older Nun begins to unwrap hers and then blushingly says to the other, in her soft Irish Brogue "Oh sister, what part did you get ?"
dogduke
PostsCOLON 1284
JoinedCOLON Thu 03 Jan, 2008 6:47 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby dogduke » Wed 23 May, 2018 5:44 pm

I miss my old Lada Riva.

Special model,16 valves.

8 in the engine and 8 in the radio
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.



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