Joke of the Week

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buffaloskinner
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Joke of the Week

Postby buffaloskinner » Tue 16 May, 2017 7:57 pm

:!: :!: :!:

The Labour Party Manifesto, it will make you roar with laughter

http://www.labour.org.uk/index.php/manifesto2017

:idea:
Is this the end of the story ...
or the beginning of a legend?
volvojack
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JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Wed 17 May, 2017 8:23 am

I have not stopped laughing at Labour since Tony Blair whilst canvassing in the Norh East told his Audience that when he was a lad he went to Newcastle Airport and stowed away on a Jet to the U.S.A. ( It later transpired that Aircraft did not fly to the States out of N. /C. Airport at that time.)
He also said he remembered standing at the Gallowgate end of Newcastle's ground watching the famous Jackie Milburn play for Newcatle Utd.
Just one thing..............Blair was born in !953 and Jackie retired from Football in 1956
volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Wed 17 May, 2017 11:56 am

Maybe "Joke Of The Week" could become a regular feature on Secret Leeds. most sites seem to have a section for humour. (Just a thought)
warringtonrhino
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Mon 22 May, 2017 1:27 pm

If we decide to have a 'Joke of the Week' feature, here is my contribution for this week.
I produce cartoons for various companies and organisations, this one was done for a walking group.
I know that many of our members enjoy perusing maps.
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volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 22 May, 2017 1:39 pm

[quote="warringtonrhino"]If we decide to have a 'Joke of the Week' feature, here is my contribution for this week.
I produce cartoons for various companies and organisations, this one was done for a walking group.
I know that many of our members enjoy perusing maps

like it warrintonrhino.
volvojack
PostsCOLON 776
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 22 May, 2017 2:10 pm

United fan took his family on holiday to the U.S.A. and whilst being taken across the Grand Canyon the guide takes the Bus load of Tourists around an Indian Reservation. The lad from York Road sees an old wrinkled Indian sat outside his cave and sees a sign "Ask Chief Cochise Any questionn, there is nothing this Medicine Man does not know. $1. dollar." Showing off in front of his kids he puts a dollar in the bowl and asks "What year did Leeds United win the F.A. Cup? he then turn to his children smiling, but is amazed when after a few minutes of contemplation the Indian reply's "Wembley, England 1972" A little deflated he carries on with the tour.
Many years later when his children are grown the whole family do the American trip again.
Crossing the Canyon they are once again taken on the Indian village tour and after he has told the family the Memory Man story so many times in the past they are all eager to see if the old man is still there. Sure enough, even more wrinkled is the Indian sat outside his Cave. The Torre Road lad can hardly believe that he is stilll alive and so walks up, puts his hand up with palm open and says "How"

The Indian replies "Allen Clarke 53rd. minute from Mick Jones cross"
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warringtonrhino
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Mon 29 May, 2017 12:04 pm

my contribution for this week...
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tilly
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Mon 29 May, 2017 2:59 pm

I think you will find we have had a joke thread in the past but i would not know how to find it.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 29 May, 2017 3:08 pm

The Lone Ranger rides in to Town on the hottest day of the year, Befoe going into the Saloon He tells Tonto "Keep moving around my horse Silver waving your Sombrero to keep him cool". Some time later a Cowboy comes into the Bar and says "Are you the Lone Ranger ?" when he say's Yes the Cowboy says "Do You know you've left your Injun running "
volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Wed 21 Jun, 2017 9:29 am

An English couple on holday in Florida are driving past a sign the says "You are now entering Kissimmee," the husband remarks that it is pronounced all in one syllable. His wife disagrees and says "It is pronounced Kiss i mmee" They argue for a while and then stop for some lunch. when the Waitress comes over and asks if she can take their order the Wife says "Yes, but first can you settle an argument, how do you pronounce this place and Please say it slowly" The waitress looks at them a little oddly and then says I guess by your accent that you are Brits, but anyway here goes... "Buurggeer Kiinngg"
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