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Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Sat 06 Apr, 2019 9:31 am
by Dalehelms
Thank you, mhoulden.

Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Sat 06 Apr, 2019 2:39 pm
by tilly
Thanks from me, i know im getting old but i thought my mind had gone when i tried to read that post.

Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Mon 08 Apr, 2019 2:22 pm
by volvojack
The Teacher of a Junior Class asks them to draw a picture of a Biblical scene "The Flight to Egypt" and as she looks at the results Some Good, bad and Indifferent" one shows a small Aircraft with people aboard. When she asks Johnny who and what is the Aeroplane meant to be He replies "Jesus, Mary and Joseph " and when he asks who the fourth one is Johnny answers " Oh that's Pilot Miss"........

Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Mon 08 Apr, 2019 5:02 pm
by warringtonrhino
:lol: Art teacher - Ken your drawing of Michael Jackson looks nothing like him.
Ken - neither does he :lol:

Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Wed 17 Apr, 2019 11:55 am
by dogduke
Seen on the internet today,


Did you turn the chip pan off Esmeralda?

No,I thought you had Quasimodo!

Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Wed 17 Apr, 2019 9:08 pm
by tilly
I went to the dentists to day he said your teeth are alright but your gums have to come out.

Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Thu 25 Apr, 2019 9:14 pm
by volvojack
It was school holidays and the lad ask could we o to the seaside dad ? So dad takes him to Roundhay Park and hires a boat. as they are going along the boy says "Dad why is the Sky so blue" dad answers Don't know son. A bit later the lad asks "Dad how do fish swim under water and don't drown" His father replies I have no idea son. The lad is curious and asks "How is it this boat does not sink" dad replies Dunno son. Just as they are getting out of the boat the lad says "Dad you don't mind me asking all these questions do you dad, do you" His father Not at all son, if you don't ask you will never learn nothing.

Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Fri 26 Apr, 2019 4:50 pm
by volvojack
EATING IN THE FIFTIES and SIXTIES :

Pasta was not eaten in Australia or N.Z.
Curry was a surname.
A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
All potato crisps were plain; the only choice we had was
whether to put the salt on or not.
Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.
Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded
as being white gold. Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
Fish didn't have fingers in those days.
Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.
None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only found in India.
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not a recognised food.
"Kebab" was not even a word, never mind a food.
Prunes were medicinal.
Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughing stock!!
But the one thing that we never ever had on our table in the sixties .....
" Elbows or Phones.

Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Fri 26 Apr, 2019 8:13 pm
by tilly
Cod never had balls but moths did, We never had chicken leg ends but Mc Donalds do.

Re: Joke of the Week

Posted: Fri 26 Apr, 2019 8:51 pm
by blackprince
…..and Humous was only found on a compost heap!