Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Fri 27 Apr, 2018 12:55 pm

Good to see they have named the Royal Baby Louis, Arthur, Charles.
Thats obviously after the Leeds Angling Club.

( I am now going to wait for Tilly to come back with some "Fishy Remarks" ie. The Baby has a Chubb..y Face
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tilly
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Fri 27 Apr, 2018 1:14 pm

I must say theirs something fishy about that joke Jack.But its a gudgeon never the less.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Fri 27 Apr, 2018 2:03 pm

I had hoped they were going to name the Babe "William Hill " as I had some rather Generous odds from Ladbrokes.
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blackprince
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby blackprince » Fri 27 Apr, 2018 5:12 pm

With those initials he's obviously destined for a career in the RAF.
A couple of day's old and he's already an LAC !
It used to be said that the statue of the Black Prince had been placed in City Square , near the station, pointing South to tell all the southerners who've just got off the train to b****r off back down south!

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tilly
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Fri 27 Apr, 2018 7:49 pm

Seeing that he is a Prince when he starts walking will he have a Purple Rein.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
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JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sat 28 Apr, 2018 10:13 am

Will Kate and Will now be eligible for Free Milk Tokens ect. as they have now 3 Kids to support. They will get Tax credits, but would have received higher rate of Benefit if they were living "Over The Brush".
Don't think they can claim Housing Rebates 'cos i don't think they actually own anywhere .

I hope that Meghan realises what she might be getting herself into with this family.
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tilly
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Sat 28 Apr, 2018 12:06 pm

Then there is the food bank, bit short on lobsters at the moment they will have to settle for caviar a shame but there you go.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
PostsCOLON 1003
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Tue 01 May, 2018 7:00 pm

Had a real crazy night out,drugs, drink and wild sex. Woke up this Morning in bed with a headache and a very, very ugly women.
So at least i knew i had got home safely.
.............
Isn't it strange how all the Hot Sexy Girls these days seem to drive around in Cute Little Sprts cars........That reminds me, the M.O.T. is due on the Wifes Transit.
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volvojack
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JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Tue 01 May, 2018 8:15 pm

A young Jewish couple had an extremely lavish wedding and then flew off to Isreal for their Honeymoon. On their return A few weeks went by and Sadie, the Mother was worried as why her Daughter had not been in touch.So sent her a Text. "Well Mother everything was wonderful, the weather was fine and the Hotel was 5 Star and Sam was such a tender lover." Her Mother asks "So why did you not phone me, you know how i worry, but i'm glad everything is O.k." suddenly her Daughter breaks down sobbing "Oh Mamma, it was when we got home, Sam began this Dirty Four letter Foul Abusive Language, words i've never heard before, Please Mamma Come and get me" Her Mother says Look Darling, all Married couples take a while to sort things out, you have just got to be patient." Tell me just how bad could a few four letter words be. "Tell your Momma just what they were"
Tearfully Sarah sobs down the phone " He used words like Dust, Iron, Cook and Wash. Her Mother says "Stay there Darling i'll pick you up in 20 Minutes"
volvojack
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JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 07 May, 2018 8:10 pm

A Trendy Bar opened quite near to us and so I thought I would give it a try. The Barman said " Good Evening Sir, what can I get you" I replied Why not Surprise Me. He reached under the Bar and pulled out a Picture of my Wife Naked.
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A Dog was sat in front of the T. V. watching the "Last Night Of The Proms" and as it reached it's Climax the Dog Barked "For Fu..s Sake Just Throw It .
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Margaret Thatcher Film "The Iron Lady" has been given an "A1 Classification" ...... Unsuitable for Minors.

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