Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
warringtonrhino
PostsCOLON 288
JoinedCOLON Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Mon 07 Aug, 2017 7:21 pm

These are not jokes, just a couple of my cartoons
Attachments
wet walk.JPG
wet walk.JPG (1.12 MiB) Viewed 432 times
haystack.JPG
haystack.JPG (412.9 KiB) Viewed 432 times
User avatar
tilly
PostsCOLON 1707
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Mon 07 Aug, 2017 7:34 pm

He He warringtonrhino Nice to have more input, what is life without a laugh i have had some bad times in the past few years but i have always kept my sense of humor.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
PostsCOLON 810
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 07 Aug, 2017 7:38 pm

[quote="tilly"]He He warringtonrhino Nice to have more input, what is life without a laugh i have had some bad times in the past few years but i have always kept my sense of humor.[

Brilliant, He has quite a Talent.
warringtonrhino
PostsCOLON 288
JoinedCOLON Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Tue 08 Aug, 2017 10:47 am

Thanks for that.
Most of my cartoons were done for magazines and societies, walking clubs, architects , Private Eye, flying club , office life, fire service, the Round Table and the League of Gentlemen, so many of them have a very limited appeal.
They relate to events and were amusing at the time and others are specific to the hobby or profession.
I really ought to do some more general ones.

volvojack
PostsCOLON 810
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Wed 09 Aug, 2017 12:12 pm

A travelling salesman arrives in London, checks into his Hotel and a little later thinks he will sample some of the things his workmates have told him about. He showers and then sits in his bathrobe on the bed and looking through the Yellow Pages directory, finds " Erotic Services" and picks out one , dials away. A girls husky voice answers "How might i be of Service" The man gives her his Hotel name and room number and then says "I want you to come around now wearing only flimsy nickers, i want you to rub baby oil all over me, handcuff me to the bed,i also want spanking....... plus anything else you can suggest . The same husky voice replys " I suggest you dial 9 for an outside line Sir, This is the Hotel Operator.
User avatar
tilly
PostsCOLON 1707
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Wed 09 Aug, 2017 7:15 pm

Paddy and Murphy go for petrol and see a sign fill your tank guess the right number and get free sex Paddy fills his car and goes in to pay.The owner say what number Paddy, number six says Paddy unlucky says the owner it was number five better luck next time.Paddy calls in a few days later again with Murphy fills up and goes in to pay the owner says what number Paddy.Number one says Paddy bad luck says the owner it was number two Paddy goes back to the car. Murphy says i think its a con its not says Paddy my wife won twice last week.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
User avatar
tilly
PostsCOLON 1707
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Wed 09 Aug, 2017 9:11 pm

A man goes into a pet shop and asks what pet would be good for his son the owner says what about an hamster.They are easy to look after and dont take up a lot of space so the man buys one and also a cage.The next day he gets up to find the hamster dead in its cage so he goes back to the pet shop and tells the owner that it had died the owner says i cant guarantee livestock.The man says what can i do with it the owner says were they come from they make a kind of jam with them and gives him the recipe he goes home and makes some jam when he tastes it he spits it out its the worst thing he has ever tasted he opens the back door and throws it into the back garden.The next day when he looks in the garden there is a rose tree in full bloom were he had thrown the jam he goes back to the pet shop and tells the owner what had happened to pet shop owner say thats most unusual [wait for it}you usually get tulips from hamster jam.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
PostsCOLON 810
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Thu 10 Aug, 2017 10:18 am

Is Turtle Wax expensive just because Turtles have only little ears.

My uncle Harry ( ex. K.O.Y.L.I.) died with his Boots on, sadly one of them was on the accelerator.

The Solicitor said Your Aunt has left you her collection of 500 clocks in her Will. I asked "WIll it take long to wind up her Estate,"

My Doctor after examining me said "Your bad health is entirely the fault of Alcohol and Tobacco" I said Wow, That's a relief for a minute there i thought you were going to say it was My fault.

We call my Mother In Law "The Exorsist" 'cos whenever she visits us, she rids the House of Spirits.

I hate people who take Drugs.........Customs Officers and Policemen.

It was so cold in Liverpool today that Scousers actually had their hands in their own pockets.

User avatar
tilly
PostsCOLON 1707
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Thu 10 Aug, 2017 2:51 pm

What do you call a man from Liverpool with a new car.?A joyrider.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
User avatar
tilly
PostsCOLON 1707
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Thu 10 Aug, 2017 3:10 pm

A surgeon goes to see Chinese a patient in recovery how do you feel he asks.The patient says '//''''..''' then drops dead 'what did he say
he asks a nurse i dont know she says im not Chinese. I must find out his last words says the surgeon so he goes to a Chinese restaurant and tells them what he said the owner says many dialects in china i do not speak that one.I will have to go to the Chinese embassy in London to find out his last words so he gets the train to London and visits the embassy .He tells them that he needs an interpreter so they bring one he tells the interpreter what the patient said, the interpreter says your standing on my oxygen pipe.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

Return to





Who is online

Users browsing this forum: 5 and 0 guests