Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
volvojack
PostsCOLON 721
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sat 26 Aug, 2017 4:19 pm

Everyone Is So Quick to Scream Racism..
A Customer asks an assistant Which Aisle would i find that delicious Dublin Irish Sausage.
The Assistant asks "Are you Irish ?" The customer is clearly offended and says Yes i am actually but let me ask you something......If i had asked you for Italian Salami / sausaage, would you have asked me if i was Italian or if i had asked for Bratwurst would you have asked me if i was German, or if i had asked which Aisle i would find Kosher hot dogs would you then ask me if i was Jewish. If i asked for Taco's would yould ask if i was Mexican or even where would you keep the Polish Sausage would you ask me if i was Polish ??
The Assistant says "Probably not" So then says the Customer Why did you ask immediately ask me if i was Irish. The Assistant replies "Because you are here in Halfords"
volvojack
PostsCOLON 721
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Tue 29 Aug, 2017 9:31 am

Susan Boyle has decided to become a Muslim. her Mosque name will be Seldom Bin Layd.
Wow, it sure was windy last night, it was so bad it blew my neighbours four car wheels into a nearby Gypsy caravan site.
A 9 year Indian old girl has been brouht out alive after 3 weeks from the rubble of a collapsed factory in Delhi.
Primark are now querying her wage slips for overtime.
I got Married on Rememberance Day many years ago, now when people hold a minutes silence i pretend they are doing it for me.
An English Jockey rode more winners on French Racecourses than anyone else each season until he retired. When he returned to England a reporter asked him what was the secret of his success. He replied Just before each race i used to whisper in the horses ear "The German Cavalry are coming"
Dalehelms
PostsCOLON 317
JoinedCOLON Sat 10 Mar, 2007 5:00 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby Dalehelms » Tue 29 Aug, 2017 10:06 am

Is this really Secret Leeds material?
volvojack
PostsCOLON 721
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Tue 29 Aug, 2017 1:01 pm

Apologies to all,
Will steer well clear of this Forum,
Jack Daly.

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tilly
PostsCOLON 1658
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Tue 29 Aug, 2017 4:17 pm

I dont see a problem Jack if you dont want to read this thread then dont open it.Whats wrong with having a laugh now and again.Lifes too short not to lighten up there are quite a few threads on here not about secret leeds so i cant see a problem.It helps to keep the site alive if im wrong please will members let me know and i will stop posting on this thread also. 8-) 8-) 8-)
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
LS1
PostsCOLON 2155
JoinedCOLON Mon 23 Jul, 2007 8:30 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby LS1 » Wed 30 Aug, 2017 8:06 am

tilly wroteColonI dont see a problem Jack if you dont want to read this thread then dont open it.Whats wrong with having a laugh now and again.Lifes too short not to lighten up there are quite a few threads on here not about secret leeds so i cant see a problem.It helps to keep the site alive if im wrong please will members let me know and i will stop posting on this thread also. 8-) 8-) 8-)

Agree, keep them coming. There's no harm done.
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tilly
PostsCOLON 1658
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Wed 30 Aug, 2017 12:32 pm

Thanks for your reply LS1 I dont think there is any harm in this thread its not has though the jokes are smutty in any way if that was the case i would not add to this post.I would like to think there are members who dont post very often but read the posts get a laugh out of this thread.There is no harm meant in any way i hope other members think the same, there are only so many things i can had a comment to and i would like to think this keeps things moving the last thing i want to do is cause friction on the site.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
warringtonrhino
PostsCOLON 278
JoinedCOLON Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Wed 30 Aug, 2017 4:56 pm

this site is not exclusively about Leeds, many topics during my time on the site have concerned items which are nothing to do with Leeds but all of our members contribute to the its uniqueness . I think the site is for people who are interested in Leeds, with general interests which other members are happy to read and contribute. There is no danger of the non-Leeds threads overtaking the fantastic threads topics and contributors that I enjoy as a member. You don't go to a pub to talk exclusively about beer, or to a football game to talk exclusively about soccer, I don't see the problem!

volvojack
PostsCOLON 721
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sat 02 Sep, 2017 12:13 pm

Q. Why did the M.P. cross the Street ? A. I don't know why but he claimed £70 for doing it.

Just bought a really large wooden horse for my Grandsons Birthday. Got it at "Troys Are Us"

Got a phone call at work today from the Wife,she sounded really upset, she said "Reversing up the Drive in the car i have just hit Jesse the Cat" I told her not to worry too much, these things happen. She replied " Yes but Jesse was asleep on the Settee at the time"
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tilly
PostsCOLON 1658
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Sat 02 Sep, 2017 8:02 pm

Hymi and Abe win the lottery Abe says what about the begging letters Hymi says keep sending them .Abe says to Hymi do you want to buy an elephant for one hundred pounds Hymi says what on earth would i do with an elephant Abe say i can sell you two for one hundred and fifty pounds Hymi says now your talking.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

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