Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
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tilly
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Wed 21 Jun, 2017 2:27 pm

I was in the bank last week behind the counter was a guy dressed in cowboy gear.Who are you i asked he said im the loan arranger.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
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tilly
PostsCOLON 1638
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Wed 21 Jun, 2017 2:32 pm

Paddy goes into the butchers and says i would like a pound of pork sausages please.The butcher says we are in the EU its kilos well give me a pound of kilos then says paddy.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
warringtonrhino
PostsCOLON 264
JoinedCOLON Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Wed 21 Jun, 2017 3:12 pm

Shepherd.' have you brought all the sheep down to the farm?'
Sheepdog 'yes'
Shepherd 'how many'
Sheepdog 'thirty'
Shepherd 'that's not possible we only have twenty nine sheep'
Sheepdog 'true, but you told me to round them up'
volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Wed 21 Jun, 2017 7:33 pm

Paddy was stopped by the police and asked were where you between 7 and 11. ?
Paddy replied "At School Sir"
................................................
My Uncle Paddy died suddenly aged only 30.
He was stung by a Wasp.... The natural enemy of a Tightrope Walker.

volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Fri 30 Jun, 2017 12:06 pm

I asked my Tensage daughter Have seen my Newpaper anywhere ? She rolled her eyes and said "Father you are so out of touch , use this" and handed me her I. Pad. That Fly never stood a chance.
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tilly
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JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Fri 30 Jun, 2017 1:43 pm

I was going to go to mars for a holiday but i heard theirs no atmosphere.I have a friend who spent years going around the world he says he is going some where else next year.Paddy is building a space ship his friend said were are you going, paddy says im going to the sun his friend says you will be burnt to death before you get any were near the sun.Im going at night says paddy. :lol:
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
PostsCOLON 694
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Fri 30 Jun, 2017 1:47 pm

[quote="volvojack"]I asked my Tensage daughter Have seen my Newpaper anywhere ? She rolled her eyes and said "Father you are so out of touch , use this" and handed me her I. Pad. That Fly never stood a chance.]
volvojack
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 03 Jul, 2017 11:06 am

A couple for jma and Ian.

A Salesman tired of his job giives it up to become a Policeman. A few months later a friend asks him how he likes it. " Well" he replies "The Pay is good, the the Hours aren't bad, the best i like best is that that the Customer is always wrong".
....................................................................................................................................
It's tough being a Policeman these days. So many things changed. Violence, Drunkeness, attacks on the Defenceless plus Obscene language and thats just from the Chief Inspector.
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tilly
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Mon 03 Jul, 2017 7:12 pm

A man goes to see the doctor whats the problem asks the doctor .The man says im making a right fool of myself in front of my mates i start talking about a subject then half way through i forget what im talking about.How long have you been like this asks the doctor like what says the man.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
iansmithofotley
PostsCOLON 340
JoinedCOLON Fri 28 Dec, 2007 4:10 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby iansmithofotley » Mon 03 Jul, 2017 8:33 pm

volvojack wroteColonA couple for jma and Ian.

A Salesman tired of his job giives it up to become a Policeman. A few months later a friend asks him how he likes it. " Well" he rplies "The Pay is good, the the Hours aren't bad, the best i like best is that that the Customer is always wrong".
....................................................................................................................................
It's tough being a Policeman these days. So many things changed. Violence, Drunkeness, attacks on the Defenceless plus Obscene language and thats just from the Chief Inspector.



Hi Jack,

Quite correct about the customers, but the unsociable hours always interfered with family life. So far as relates to pay, we were never overpaid - we weren't paid just for what we did, but for what we were expected to do, in any circumstances. I think that we had more fun than salesmen though.


Ian
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