Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
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tilly
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Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Fri 19 Oct, 2018 9:30 pm

This white man who was born in Africa had been in pain all his life he had seen lots of doctors but no one could find out why.One day someone said why dont you go see the local witch doctor i have nothing to loose he thought so off he goes.He tells the witch doctor the problem and says can you help me the witch doctor says i can tell you a cure but i dont know if you will do it.What do i need to do he says the witch doctor says you must kill your best friend and boil him up skim of the fat and rub it all over your body once a day for seven days.What have i got to loose he thinks so he kills his best friend skims off the fat and every day for seven day he rubs it all over his body after seven days he has no pain He goes back to the witch doctor and tells him it had worked the witch doctor say i told you it would the man says is there a name for this medicine yes says the witch doctor it is called,wait for it its called palamine lotion . :D :D
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
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Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sat 20 Oct, 2018 9:04 am

Male Patient presses the alarm button and when the Nurse rushes in he mumbles from behind the Oxygen mask " Nurse nurse are my testicles black ?" the Nurse pulls open his pyjama bottoms, lifts his penis with one hand, cups his testicles in the other and gently examines them. No,I Can assure you they are exactly as they were before you were admitted . Removing the Oxygen mask he smiles and says "No nurse, although that was very nice i was asking Are.. My.. Test.. Results.. Back"
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tilly
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Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Sat 20 Oct, 2018 10:44 pm

A man goes into a restaurant and the waiter brings over the menu the man says i think i will have the steak and kiddaley pie The waiter says you mean the steak and kidney pie sir the man says i said kiddaley diddle i.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
Posts: 1103
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sun 21 Oct, 2018 2:29 pm

A couple get married and on their wedding night he says" You always have looked so innocent during our courtship, tell me Am I your First. She replies "Why do men always keep asking me that.
……………………………………………………………………………………………..
A Cowboy walks into a German car showroom and says "Audi"
….…………………………………………………………………………………………….
At the Annual Gurning Championship last night there was a disturbance between contestants, things turned very ugly

volvojack
Posts: 1103
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sun 28 Oct, 2018 6:47 pm

I was in a Dublin Pub chatting up the young Barmaid and i could see she was impressed with my English accent and i was impressed with her large pair of breasts. After buying her a drink i told her i had a gift and could tell her the the very day she was born just by touching her chest. She said "Go On Then" and I slipped my hand inside her Blouse. After a few minutes she said "Hey that's enough, So what day was I born then" I replied "Yesterday"
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dogduke
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Joined: Thu 03 Jan, 2008 6:47 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby dogduke » Mon 29 Oct, 2018 12:00 am

TRUE
Browsing B&M stores website I came across

Illumibowl.

Motion activated ! Night light for the toilet pan.

Fits inside the rim and has a wide range of colours and sequences.

Should have worded the description better.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

90% of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.


volvojack
Posts: 1103
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 29 Oct, 2018 8:58 am

Sainsburys have announced a Range of Sexual aids / toys on sale for their wellbeing and health, And their customers have requested (Very likely) Could be interesting at the checkout,

Anyone got any views ??
Dalehelms
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Joined: Sat 10 Mar, 2007 5:00 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby Dalehelms » Mon 29 Oct, 2018 1:19 pm

What on earth has this to do with Secret Leeds? Maybe you posted it on the wrong forum?

volvojack
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Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 29 Oct, 2018 5:08 pm

Dalehelms"]What on earth has this to do with Secret Leeds? Maybe you posted it on the wrong forum.

Apologies for serious misjudgement. on reflection don't think it is suitable for any forum.
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tilly
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Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Mon 29 Oct, 2018 8:45 pm

Hi Dalehelms If you look there are 33 pages of jokes on here just light hearted banter we started it when things were getting a bit out of hand. It was our way of trying to lighten things up a bit i for one think no harm has been done, if it has upset anyone in any way then may i suggest the thread be removed.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

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