Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
volvojack
PostsCOLON 970
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Tue 10 Apr, 2018 7:54 am

"More Looting in The County Of BallyMuck" .............
That well known villian Padddy O' hooligan broke into the Local Argos Store and loaded up hs Ford Transit before getting away,
Now he is looking for someone to buy 2,000 Catalogues.
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Paddy went to the Doctors a and tells the Receptionist "I keep seeing Large Coloured Dots before my eyes" She asks Have you seen a Doctor ? Paddy says " No just Large Coloured Dots"
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tilly
PostsCOLON 1784
JoinedCOLON Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Tue 10 Apr, 2018 11:25 am

How do you confuse an Irish man put three shovels in a corner and ask him to take his pick.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
PostsCOLON 970
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Wed 11 Apr, 2018 9:54 pm

I remember when i gave Liam Gallager his first Guitar, He said "Wow this is Great but what's that Knob at the Front for " I said that's the Lead singer Noel.
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Hey that Liverpool plce is tough, I had only been in Town an hour and i was looking out over the Mersey when i got a Message in a Bottle. Some Scally hit me with it and said "Stop looking at my Judy"
It was so cold there that the local lads had their hands in their own pockets.
volvojack
PostsCOLON 970
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sun 15 Apr, 2018 2:28 pm

Quotes.....
If it was not for Pickpockets and been Frisked by Security at the Airport i would not have any Sex Life at all.
.............................................................................................................. I am glad i am Not Bi Sexual as I could not stand being rejected by a Man as well as a Women.
............................................................................... I Blame my Mother for a poor Sex Life. all she told me was "The Man gets on top with the Women underneath "...... For the first 3 Years after being married my Wife and I slept in Bunk Beds.
............................................I Think Testing on Animals is so Cruel, They always seem to nervous and give all the wrong answers............
Every time Eric Bristow sees me he asks me "Why do you put Superglue on my Darts?" I told him ....You just can't let it Go, can you.
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I saw a Man Chatting up a Cheetah...I thought to myself "Looks like he's trying to pull a Fast One"

volvojack
PostsCOLON 970
JoinedCOLON Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Thu 19 Apr, 2018 9:30 pm

The Wife and I have been arguing where to go for our Holidays . I want to go to Tenerife and She wants to come with me. .......................I have ofton wanted to drown my Sorows but the Wife can't swim and won't go near any water..............Looking back i realise it was our Son that kept our Marriage together. "Neither one of us wanted custody of him.
............................................Two Scottie Dogs , one Black and one White go into a Pub and order Two Large Whiskeys. The Barman says "Thats amazing, did you know there was Famous Scotch whiskey with the same name as you two" The Dogs reply " What, you mean Bill and Ben ?"

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